


Half-Gifts

by fiftyfiftyclown



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: (seemingly) one-sided Petra/Dorothea, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Bernadetta von Varley's Father's Bad Parenting, F/M, Fluff, Idk what i'm doing, Mentioned Caspar von Bergliez, Mentioned Dorothea Arnault, Mentioned Hubert von Vestra, Mentioned Linhardt von Hevring, Mentioned Petra Macneary, One-sided Dorothea/Edelgard, also Hilda Annette and Mercedes are there too for a tiny bit, if you can't tell i'm kinda new here lol......, lame attempt at flower language, this is mostly fluff i'm not gonna lie to you, yuri is mentioned too but it's just heavily implied and not by name but you know it's him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:54:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29446629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiftyfiftyclown/pseuds/fiftyfiftyclown
Summary: Bernadetta begins to worry that Ferdinand is starting to fall out of love with her. Ferdinand is worried that Bernadetta is keeping something from him.Bernadetta and Ferdinand list the things that they dislike about themselves and love about each other. Together, they have a heart to heart and learn that they are both valid.for Ace/Aro FE3H Week Day 7: Love
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: FE3H - Ace/Aro Week





	Half-Gifts

**Author's Note:**

> My (over a decade) return to fanfic for Ace/Aro FE3H Week!
> 
> General CW for: abuse mentions, abuse scars, Bernadetta's dad being a dick, Bernadetta's massive anxiety and self-loathing, and possible tmi about Ferdie's past (nothing explicit tho).

_She didn't remember when exactly it was that she realized that she felt that way. Or rather, when she realized that she was a pitcher plant among the flowers. That was how she always felt, especially in regards to her hobbies, and her looks. Gorgeous roses that seemed to lack thorns like Dorothea. The crimson carnations that were bright and mysterious as Edelgard. The rough yet charming and courageous borage that brought to mind Petra, and her amicable and wise prescence. Many of the young ladies that shared the hallways and classrooms with her seemed like blooming bouquets that brought springtime everywhere they went, and she was sitting there in solitude, attracting nobody but flies for sustenance._

\----------------------------------------------------------

Bernadetta realized that she messed up. Badly. She got very excited and had spoken out of turn. Interrupted the words of her host. Flailing her hands and bouncing in her chair. She could hear herself speaking and her words overstaying their welcome as her host began to quiet down as they realized that she was speaking over them but she!! Could not!! Stop!! _"Shut up Bernie! Shut your mouth!"_ She would never be able to live this down.

She and Ferdinand were having tea at the house of a noble woman who owned territory in Hrym. It was her husband's chance to gain the woman's trust to open a school for the orphans affected by the war in the area, and with a slip of the tongue, Bernadetta had completely ruined his chances. At least, she was absolutely certain that she did. Might as well draw a messy line through the words "supportive wife" on her mental checklist of things she had expected herself to be one hundred percent proficient at.

_"Great job Bernie. You messed up and now you've went and made a laughing stock of yourself. Like you always do."_

Of course though. Only she could flub up this badly. Patron saint of mistakes. If she was going down in history, she would probably be known as Bad News Bernie. Ruining futures with a slip of her tongue. She was now staring holes onto her lap which her sweaty hands were now placed upon. She was giggling nervously as if to play off her mistake as something minor, but it wasn't hard for anyone in the room to tell that she was taking this way harder than she put on.

After marrying Ferdinand, she made leaps and bounds worth of progress when it came to her communication skills and speaking with others. They had practiced their oratorical skills together; Bernadetta usually helped pen important speeches for him, and he provided her with opportunities to practice speaking in a non-judgmental space, usually among any of their old friends who were willing to volunteer. But now, she went and committed an egregious faux pas. All that practicing for what? So war-torn orphans wouldn't be able to access an affordable local education? She was beside herself. Nobody would want to support the husband of a complete fool who rudely pushed her way into conversations without asking.

After an awkward silence had come to pass, she composed herself the best that she could and asked to be excused early. She found her way to the washroom and dipped her shaking hands into a opulent marble sink to splash cold water on her face. Trails of mascara rolled down her cheeks. She felt foolish when she saw herself in the mirror, but she figured that she couldn't embarrass herself more than she already had when she committed that debacle a few moments ago.

Ferdinand was waiting for her in the entrance way. She felt her body grow cold and tense up when she saw him. Upon seeing her he motioned a gloved finger towards her face, in an attempt to get her to notice the muddied make-up that she wore as her fool's mask. She simply looked away from him and let him know that she was fine, but that wasn't enough for him; he embraced her gently while reaching out towards her cheek with a pretty handkerchief which made her flinch away from his grasp. Her cheeks were now burning hot and her heart was beating a million miles an hour. No way was she going to let him soil his pristine handkerchief with her tainted face. He was always so pure, pristine, and a little domineering in his fanciest clothes, while she always felt like an impure speck of dirt, no matter how gussied up she got. She could hear him give out a sigh as he put away the handkerchief into his coat pocket.

For a while, Bernadetta had suspicions that Ferdinand was starting to grow tired of having to pick up after her and her mistakes, and this day definitely added more fuel to the fire that lit up this idea in her mind. This was far from the first time that she messed up in front of him and she feared that there were still more of these moments to come. How much longer would he stand still and tolerate her? That was one thing about him that always eluded her- he was too kind to tell her when she was being a burden.

In the carriage ride home, she noticed that Ferdinand had been sitting across from her and was staring outside the window. Oh no. This was bad. There was no doubt that he was disappointed in her. He had always sat right next to her in their carriage rides together, so this was an uncomfortable sight. Her suspicions of his feelings towards her only grew worse and she could feel a lump in her throat form, and tears well up in her cloudy gray eyes, but she swallowed those sensations up, much like one would swallow a thick glob of castor oil. She bid her attention to the flaking polish on her nails and scraped off a loose lilac-colored flake from her right ring finger.

\----------------------------------------------------------

The Aegir estate had changed since the war, and it was a humble little shell of the opulent and pristine castle it once was. What was once a haven for delicate and gilded furniture was now a home for plants and off-beat knick-knacks. Multiple dogs, cats, chickens, and horses ran around freely in the stables and the fields. The master bedroom that had once belonged to her husband's parents was now littered with piles of polished armor on the floor, and soft animal stuffies on a shelf above the elegant headboard of their bed. Three plush animals stood notably on the shelf, a golden colored dog donning a red and blue cape with a gold trim, a dark plum bear with a gold ribbon around its neck, and a smaller simple brown bear stuffy.

Bernadetta, (after briskly excusing herself out of the carriage to a confused Ferdinand who usually guided her out) made her way to the bedroom. She washed her face, changed into something comfortable, and then took out a sewing kit. She took to nursing her hurt feelings by embroidering gold details onto a small stuffy-bear sized purple tunic not unlike the one she wore during the war. It was going to be a new outfit for Bell, the small simple bear stuffy. Bell was given to her by her beloved uncle as a child, and she was grateful enough to have the bear in her possession when she was enrolled in the monastery. Bell once wore a dapper blue coat that made her look very dignified, but it started to fade and tear, due to Bell being very well loved by her owner.

Bernadetta diligently focused her attention on the purple fabric. If she could focus, then she could forget the day. If she could focus, then she could forget the sight of Ferdinand's disappointment. If she could focus, then she could forget the possibility that he no longer wanted to be with....

The door opened quietly, as Ferdinand walked in. He seemed rather bashful. Bernadetta did not go as far to acknowledge him much; just a simple nod from her when he asked if she was done using the washroom.

When he came back into their bedroom, Bernadetta was still sewing. Ferdinand took a seat next to her on the bed where she sat and paid rapt attention to her performing her handiwork. She was so focused on her embroidering that she did not notice him until she pricked her index finger by accident and seemed to leap a hundred miles away when he asked her "Are you alright my dear?"

"Ferdinand!? W-what are you doing sitting so close!!?? I could have poked you with this needle..." Her squeaky voice cracked as she yelped, slowing to a whimper.

Ferdinand chuckled. "I was curious as to what it was that you were occupying your time with. Was it wrong to ask? If it was, then I will leave you to your project."

Bernadetta could feel a lump in her stomach form and the automated motions of her hand and needle flowing through the fabric was all that she could do to keep herself from grimacing.

Ferdinand took her silence and her tense stature as an answer to his inquiry. He slowly slid away from the bed and stood up to walk towards the door of their room. When he was about to turn the doorknob, Bernadetta yelped after him. "Wait, Ferdinand, please! I-I have t-to.. I need to talk. We need to talk. Um.."

Ferdinand turned around and looked to her with concern tinted with love on his face. The sight of it made her stomach lurch. "What is it my dear?"

"Sit down." Bernadetta said, her voice quivering. "Please, sit." She then repeated the words she said before more bluntly. "We need to talk."

Ferdinand sat where he was just a moment before and looked to her again with the same love-tinted concern he met her with before. "What is it that you wish to discuss Bernadetta?" Bernadetta cursed his charming looks and puppy-pout face.

Ferdinand opened his mouth to speak, but Bernadetta blurted out something faster than he could say anything. "How could you let me walk away from the brunch at House Rosemary like that?!"

Ferdinand was flummoxed. "I beg your pardon?"

"At the tea party..." Bernadetta could feel her bottom lip quiver and her voice shudder into a mumble. She paused and swallowed, then spoke again. "Lady Rosemary was about to speak and I spoke out of turn. Out of turn Ferdinand! I butt into her speech, not knowing that she wasn't done talking yet and I rudely interrupted her! Me and my big fat mouth!" she squeaked.

"Is this in regards to when you stepped out to use the washroom at the Rosemary manor?" Ferdinand asked. "I was surely concerned for you when you seemed a bit flushed, but I had assumed that something that you consumed got the better of you. Perhaps your stomach wasn't accustomed to some of the offerings at the manor. It is not like me to speak any ill of the offerings of our hosts, but I certainly felt like those marzipan pastries were a little past their due..."

Bernadetta was no longer feeling very meek. She just stared at him, mouth agape, wondering how he could completely come to the conclusion that Bernadetta was feeling ill due to some treats that she ate.

"I admit to you that I committed a huuuuge mistake and you were concerned that I ate bad snacks!!" Bernadetta whined. "I can't even discuss this with you!" She flopped on her stomach onto the bed.

"Dear, what seems to be the issue then? Were you concerned with how you conducted yourself in front of Lady Rosemary?" He tuck a strand of his long hair behind his ear as he leaned towards Bernadetta, who was grumbling with teary eyes onto a pillow. He was finally beginning to figure out why Bernadetta was so upset. "I will have you know that everything is fine, if that is what is what is worrying you. Lady Rosemary and I have established a deal and we both hope to accrue funds for a potential school house as promised. You need not fear any perceived misdeeds that you may have committed, as you have not done anything that would warrant so." He spoke matter of factly, but also softly, gently. The way he spoke to her when her body would lock itself in a panic.

Bernadetta slowly got up from her slumped position while holding onto a pillow and laid her chin on it while she sat. "B-but I interrupted her when she was speaking, and it sounded really important. I'm pretty sure she hates me now."

Ferdinand shook his head with a small grin on his face. "If anything, our host was worried about you. You did look rather ill."

"A-are you sure, Ferdie?" Bernadetta said, voice growing meek once more.

He liked the sound of her saying his nickname, because it meant that things were going to be okay. "I am sure as sunflowers enjoy facing the sun." He was beaming just like the sun itself. Bernadetta did a big sigh and wiped away some stray tears while Ferdinand ruffled her hair.

"Phew. I was worried that you didn't end up with the deal and that you were dissapointed... in me. Leave it to me, the biggest mistake of all to create one! Here I was thinking that you were getting tired of me." Bernadetta said. She was more relaxed than she had been in a while, but upon her saying such things, Ferdinand began to tense up.

"Bernadetta." he stated bluntly, seemingly hurt. "For what reason would you suggest that you are a mistake? Getting tired of you? I wouldn't dare dream of it." After he said that, he paused for a moment, then asked.

"Have I done something to upset you recently? It seems apparent that this recent mood of yours must be a culmination of something that's been bubbling from within you."

"Like, do you think I've been hiding something from you?"

He nodded.

Bernadetta sniffed and blinked her eyes, still warm and stinging with tears. "It's just.. lately I feel like we haven't been. Um. I dunno. I feel like lately you've been growing tired of me. You haven't been sending me much letters on your recent travels to Enbarr. You've been kind of distant. You didn't sit next to me on the way home today.." She went and listed other reasons why she suspected that he no longer wanted to be with her, including those moments where he had to pick up her slack.

Ferdinand debunked every theory she had regarding any possible chance that he no longer wanted to be with her. "My letters have been rather paltry, I must admit. It has been harder to write them and have them sent out lately, as my travels demand more time than I wish. But rest assured that you should never feel the need to worry that I might forget you, regardless if I am away or not. I am sorry if I acted in any such way to suggest that I haven't been able to reciprocate any affections you might give me. My travels have just been rough as of recently, but you should see the smile I have on my face when I know I am closer to home, to you." He put a hand to her knee. It felt somewhat rough and she could see dirt under his fingernails. Was he doing something in the greenhouse recently?

"I know, and I appreciate your efforts. But it's not just the letters. I know you're not gonna forget me..." Bernadetta said, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. "It's just." She cleared her throat, and tried to ignore the cold sweat feeling that accompanied the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "It's just that I feel that I haven't been the perfect wife for you? I guess? There are many other people you could have chosen to marry and, it's true that we once.. when we were kids, our families.. you know?" Bernadetta sunk her face into the pillow she was hugging.

Ferdinand mused over what she had said. A vision of Count Varley and his own father seemed to flicker in his mind. Long ago, when they were just kids, she was among one of the many arranged to be married to him once they came of age. He had heard of his family's plans and outright refused any of these potential marriages, her's in particular, as he had heard rumors of the Varley daughter being a curse mongering witch. **Oh to be so wrong!** When he heard that the daughter of House Varley was to attend school along with him, he grew curious. So curious was he, that he devoted his time in getting to know her. Surely this wasn't the doll-cursing witch he had come to hear about. So he threw away any ideas that this could be her, and in turn, got to make a wonderful friend (after a mishap involving a sprained wrist of course). He soon found out (sometime during the war) in turn that this really was the girl, but it had been far too late as his heart already made it's choice, parents of either of them be damned. How ironic that they still ended up together, but now her father lost his claim to the land she would inherit upon abandoning the Varley name and adopting Aegir. Some could say it was just punishment from the Goddess.

"I don't seem to recall any reason why you think you aren't already perfect to begin with Bernadetta. You are more than just my wife, but a creative and courageous person. Anyone would be glad to have wed such a person."

She shuddered at his words. She hated when he lied about her to make her feel better. At least, she was certain he was lying.

"I appreciate the sweet talk, but you don't have to lie." she grumbled.

"I have not been lying, just stating the truth." He sighed, trying to hide any hint of annoyance from within him. If there was one thing about Bernadetta that DID upset him, it was having to bear witness to her constant put-downs and self-loathing of herself. But he understood why she was that way. Love in itself was a hard topic for her. She had been forcibly modeled to be the perfect spouse for someone, but it left her with trauma, trauma that he feared that would never truly go away. Not a month went by when Ferdinand remembered the day he stormed over to House Varley upon learning about Bernadetta's past in full, to try and give a stern talking to his soon to be father in law, lance in hand.

He looked to her wrists and saw the faint echoes of rope burn scars. They were among some of the first things he ever noticed about her when they met as academy students. There were also similar scars near her ankles, though those were usually hidden.

\----------------------------------------------------------

_When, during the war, Ferdinand admitted his pining for her since the academy days, she was taken so aback that she avoided him for a few days._

_At Dorothea and Caspar's insistence however, she gradually was brought back into his orbit, if not reluctantly. Dorothea and the Professor had given him some insight into Bernadetta's past, and he treated the dawn of their courtship accordingly. He was gentle and kind, and did not mind going on "dates" that consisted mainly of him sitting outside of her door, while she spoke to him from behind it. When the war ended, and their feelings for each other became more apparent, their courtship began to flourish. He took her to tea, greenhouses that were home to the most extraordinary of plants, and (whenever she was willing to put up with crowds) the opera. He made sure that his love to her was not a demand, but just something to express when they were comfortable. It had worked for almost two years since they said their vows so far._

\------------------------------

There was a long silence between them as Ferdinand flashed back to when he met her in the academy. Bernadetta had since returned back to making the tunic for Bell. Then, a tiny voice.

"Are you happy with me?"

Ferdinand turned his head to look to her. "Hm?"

"I know I'm a lot of work. I know it upsets you when I speak badly about myself." She was now looking only at her hands and the tunic she was embroidering, but her words were directed towards him.

"I'm trying really hard. But I still can't help but feel like maybe you'd be better off with someone else. I'm kind of awkward, always anxious, and I get really into my hobbies.."

Ferdinand did a small chuckle. "Those hobbies are what enamored me to you. I recall those school days where you shared your paintings with me. You were oh so shy, but the love you had for your creations was so apparent, it drew me to you." He chuckled some more then looked bashfully. "I love my own hobbies. But it has drawn me ire, so I curtailed my activities."

"You shouldn't have to be ashamed Ferdie!" Bernadetta was now looking at him. "I don't know much about old weapons, but it's clear they bring you joy. Plus, your horse riding skills helped me learn how to be a decent enough bow knight. I now can't go a day without sipping a cup of Albinean Berry Blend either."

Ferdinand blushed. He was elated to hear that his favorite things had become a part of his wife's life. He could be very passionate about them, because it was hard for him to make friends, as much as it was hard for his wife to believe. He was once known to be loud, arrogant, and in over his head. He thought of annoyed reactions from people like his parents, Edelgard, Dorothea, Lindhardt, and Hubert. But Bernadetta had been a constant in his life after, funnily enough, a misunderstanding. She gave him a shoulder to lie on when he lost everything. Soon enough, those who had once been annoyed by him considered him family as well.

"So, you say that I should not be ashamed, but you still feel the need to hide what makes you happy?" Ferdinand asked.

".....Hehe, you're right Ferdie. I guess I can continue to make things if they make people happy. But that doesn't change the fact that sometimes I feel that you deserve someone more braver, stronger, and.... prettier than me." Her voice slowed to a mumble.

"You are all those things and more my Bernie Bear, and I mean this with utmost truth. On my own nobility." Ferdinand said.

She sat up straight and put her handiwork aside on a nightstand.

"Um.." She was squirming. "I.. worry that maybe the way I love you is just. Half."

"I'm not entirely sure what you mean." Ferdinand replied.

"My relationship with you. It's only half of a gift. Because I don't feel... in certain ways. I feel like, I'm.. you know. A bit different. So maybe because of that people might perceive our relationship as only half, there's something missing."

Ferdinand took a moment to think about what it was that she was referencing. Then it hit him. He recalled moments where she seemed to buckle up upon receiving physical intimacy. Even a kiss was enough to send her into a small flight of panic.

"Are you suggesting that your lack of reciprocation towards physical intimacy is what is causing you to feel that you aren't truly in love with me?"

"Yeah, let's just say that." Bernadetta said meekly. She was aware that her past abuse had made her incredibly wary of touch, even from kind souls, but deep down inside there had to be more of a reasoning for it.

\----------------------------------------------------------

_Bernadetta's mind flashed back to when she was at the academy, going to a small social with classmates from the other classes at Dorothea and Petra's request, even though she refused, at first. At the social, she remembered the topic of crushes coming up quite often. Some of it was fascinating to her admittedly, especially when she heard that Dorothea had feelings for a gallant female noble in their class that they all knew. She remembered the sight of Petra's eyes widening slightly when she heard Dorothea confess as much. Mercedes, Annette, and Hilda were giddily talking about their own crushes._

_Bernadetta felt like she couldn't throw her own hat in the ring however. She could see people as cute and charming, but the mention of "sexy and hot" knights made her confused. It was there that she realized that for the first time in her life, that only once she had something that resembled feelings for someone long before then._

_That ended up being a disaster when her father, Count Varley, had heard about her friendship with a sly yet kind commoner boy. The same commoner boy that got a very blunt message delivered by Count Varley's men after he was seen with her._

_Aside from that one instance, she felt like she was in a world much different than the other girls. Would she love some one the way people around her did? Would she ever have room in her heart for someone?_

_She acknowledged that if she felt affection for anyone, it wasn't going to be real, it wasn't going to be full, like how her classmates felt. At most, it would just be half. She once heard someone describe love as a gift for someone worthy of being your one true love. If love was a gift to be given away to someone special, then her love would only be half of a gift. A half-gift._

_Was it wrong to feel so deeply for someone, but only want nothing more than to just be with them, to just be as she was?_

_At least, she surmised that the feelings she was beginning to develop for a dear classmate with a slight arrogant stride, yet sunny disposition were not real._

_Love and romance were complicated topics for her, made even worse by her father's insistence that she model herself after an obedient wife to get a husband she didn't even want. Honestly, the idea of a relationship, especially one that was more physical than she could fathom made her feel sick to her stomach when she learned about what couples did behind closed doors. How could her father, how could her family force her into this life that she didn't want with the possibility that she would end up doing things that she didn't want to do? Was enduring humiliation, isolation, and rope burns from being bound to a chair alone for hours in a chamber, just conditioning her for her next obligation in life? Bernadetta wished marriage was as idyllic as the depictions in her books. If this was what marriage was going to end up being like, she made a silent vow that she was going to swear off getting married, as much as her refusal was harming her. Her mother's abrupt actions in sending her off to the monastery in the form of a overnight "kidnapping" ended up being a blessing in disguise._

_How she ended up being happily married years later to the heir of the Aegir family was anyone's guess._

\----------------------------------------------------------

"Well." Ferdinand said, sitting up a bit straighter. "If it's any consolation, you should know that I don't expect you to perform anything that you do not wish to do." He had promised her that as early as when he made the mistake of trying to get her to leave her room at the academy without understanding her fear. "I am aware that I may tend to be a tad more intimate than you can handle. But I always want you to feel comfortable in letting me know when to take it down a notch."

"But. I mean, not being as touchy feely as you... does that bother you? I let you know if I'm feeling uncomfortable. But does it make you feel like you're missing out on something? It's not just kisses and hugs. We don't really even........ I don't think I want to....." Her face turned a bright red.

Ferdinand blushed slightly and laughed heartily. Bernadetta was taken aback and pouted.

"No Bernadetta, it does not really bother me much that you don't feel a certain way towards me. I have come to know you over many years. Your love for me is as full as anyone else's. It is not half."

He then slouched a bit, bashfully. "If I may be completely honest with you.. I have to admit that, such feelings of a certain manner do not seem to come up for me as well. I suppose this is why we work so well, among other reasons."

Bernadetta was curious. "Oh?"

"Yes." Ferdinand said. He detailed a summarized version of his life before the Black Eagles had re-united after the war. While he was in the process of bringing glory back to the Aegir name, which had lost almost everything, especially tangible things, he had romanced a very small number of people, among some of them, men. He knew that he could tell Bernadetta this detail because it wouldn't change her opinion of him. He initially didn't feel interested in any of these people, but went along, to make them happy as well as his own curiosity, as relationships were a confusing subject for him. He briefly described these romances, even mentioning that one or two of them went deeper than just holding hands. Though he didn't mind these parts of the relationships and may have even enjoyed those moments, he found that he didn't exactly care either. At first he wondered if it was because he felt guilt for having gone so far before marriage. Surely his relatives wouldn't have let him hear the end of it. The Goddess would have his neck. But when he thought about it, he realized that he rarely saw people in a certain way, especially when he was coming of age. He felt like he was lagging behind, and was broken. Was it possible that multiple forms of attraction existed? It was a question that burned at the back of his mind, even now. It was incredibly baffling to him, as he realized that before the war, his heart yearned for the messy-haired reclusive girl, locked away from the world.

Bernadetta was sitting nervously, with a shy smile, secretly happy he could share his story with her. "I don't think you are broken Ferdie."

Ferdinand looked to the ground, smiling. "Likewise to you. I completely respect that you let me know what your boundaries are." He then furrowed his brow more seriously. "There is the issue that my relatives expect for us to give them a grandchild.. as my family's name is.. well.. and our Crests.." He sighed. "But that should be a topic for another time." He half expected her to respond to this in fear but she simply just nodded, shy smile still on her face.

There was a silence between the two of them, but it wasn't so awkward this time, it was calm. He then broke it.

"Let's focus on today. On now. Do not ever feel the need to change who you are Bernadetta. Your love is full as could be. Or I suppose if it had to be half, then mine is as well. That way when we combine them, our love becomes full."

Bernadetta giggled. Ferdinand returned her joy with a sunny smile.

"Oh, I almost had forgotten. Would you like to accompany me to the garden?" Bernadetta curiously nodded, and Ferdinand grabbed her hand gently and lifted her up from the bed.

\----------------------------------------------------------

The greenhouse was as humble as their abode, but full of life from within. Butterflies and ladybugs fluttered among the green, and dew was still present on some of the plants, though the sun was starting to set.

"I admit, I may not have the greenest of thumbs, but I am certain you might want me to introduce you to our new friends." He proudly showed off the fruits of his labor, and why his hands had been so rough over the past few days. There was a patch of dirt with small seedlings sprouting. They were baby pitcher plants, grown from Brigid seeds sent to the couple by Petra, greeting the world with their small leaves and appetite for flies.

Bernadetta blushed and put her hands to her face in surprise. "Ferdie, you didn't!"

He stood proudly, even smugly. "But I did. They are looking forward to meeting you."

She leaned down to observe them and may have even cooed as if she were greeting a baby or a small animal. He followed suit and the two of them discussed the plants, and even made up possible names for them. They spent the rest of the afternoon, leading into evening admiring the residents of the greenhouse, with Bernadetta teaching him about what each of them liked and how they grew.

\----------------------------------------------------------

_It was true that pitcher plants bring to mind curiosity, and even maybe even fear. But once one got to understand them, they would see that these plants were more than just bug-eating carnivores, but charming plants that deserve to share their place among the roses, carnations, borage, and other kinds of flowers that brought springtime with them. They too had people that loved them._

**Author's Note:**

> It's done! Almost a month and a half later and it's finally here!
> 
> I have no idea if I'm gonna write anything with them/or anything else in general for a long time, as I fancy myself more of an illustrator. I feel like my writing leaves little to be desired and I have a very low self esteem for it. But if you liked this, even a little bit, please feel free to read these end-notes.
> 
> I just really wanted to say thank you to the people hosting AceAroFE3H week for getting me off of my butt to compel me to do this. Ferdinand and Bernadetta are characters that really mean a whole lot to me, and they as a couple mean even more to me. They are my comfort ship (so sad they're considered a rarepair), and it means a lot to have the opportunity for me to portray them as I personally see/headcanon them. I myself am aroace, and it means a lot to be able to write a couple through an asexual spectrum lens. I've had a rough relationship with fanfic for years because I could rarely see myself represented, or the content was a bit much for me, so being able to do this was sorta healing.
> 
> It was kinda hard to write this sometimes, as someone who can really identify with both, especially Bernadetta. Meeting her for the first time was a whirlwind because her experiences with anxiety and self-loathing mirrored my own, especially my struggles with agoraphobia. (On top of that, she super resembles an original universe OC I made over a decade ago that I used to vent my anxiety troubles with. Thinking about how fate works.) 
> 
> The title of the work is a reference to the song Half-Gifts by the Cocteau Twins (the same band that inspired my username here). The thing about this band is that the lyrics of most of their songs are up to interpretation, as they can be extremely abstract; like a made up language. I'm not exactly sure if the lyrics to Half-Gifts are canon, but I do implore you to look them up if you liked this fic, as they, to me, remind me of Bernadetta.
> 
> Oh! and as for headcanons! Ferdinand is implied to be sex-favorable ace or sex-neutral ace (or even demisexual) here, as well as bi-romantic! Bernadetta is probably sex-repulsed ace, and questioning her romantic orientation.
> 
> Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for reading this. And a big thank you to my friends, and those in the Fernadetta Week server for helping and encouraging me too.


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